by Paul David Tripp
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
2 Corinthians 5:14–15

Why in the world are marriages so hard? Why are relationships and friendships so difficult? Why is parenting so tough? We all know every sort of relationship is hard, don’t we? I mean, you have never had a relationship in your life that hasn’t disappointed you in some way. Isn’t that incredible? Not one. What’s that about?
Look at 2 Corinthians 5:14–15. In this passage Paul gave a defense of his ministry. “And he died for all”—now pay very careful attention—“that”—the word that introduces a purpose statement—“those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”
I don’t know what you’ve thought about this passage, but this is the ultimate diagnostic of why relationships can be such a struggle, why they can be so hurtful, so dysfunctional. How can it be that this person I once adored, this person whose voice would lift my heart, this person with whom I felt such community, can make me so angry, so distressed? How is it that we can have so much tension between us that you couldn’t cut it with a knife—you’d have to use a chainsaw? Why?
Well, here’s what 2 Corinthians 5:15 says to me: Sin causes all of us to shrink our worlds down to the claustrophobic confines of our wants, our needs, our feelings. Sin is self-obsessed, self-focused. Sin inserts me in the center of my world—the one place I must never be. Sin makes me full of myself. Sin makes it all about me. Sin makes me a vat of selfish thoughts and desires and wants. I want to drive on roads paid for by other citizens who choose not to use them. I want a wife who says, “Of course, Paul, I agree with you; I’ve lived with the glory that is you.” I want children who say, “I will forthwith go and obey, oh wise father whom I’ve been given.” I want neighbors who moved into the neighborhood just because I’m there.
What can disrupt this idolatry of self? What can help us bring healing and grace to our relationships? Paul says it’s the work of Jesus. He forgives us and frees us, and by this good news, we get out of the center of our lives and revolve around Him.

Thought to Remember for Today

Every one of us knows what it’s like to be in a relationship that’s gone south. And we all know the reason is because we want what we want so desperately. The good news for all of us is that Jesus brings not only the forgiveness of sins to men and women who have selfishly ruined relationships, but He also is flooding our hearts with His love, which will enable us to live selflessly every day.

Fitzpatrick, E. (2016). Grace untamed: a 60-day devotional. Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook.